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hey you know what would be funny

if the next person who read this post shat their pants with the force of an atomic bomb

do not question my definition of funny

Nice try, but I pooped a few hours ago and hardly ate since.

"Kill yourself" is a boring insult.
"I hope your favourite video game gets a soulless remake only a dumb grifter would notice, but no one would trust him." is a good insult.