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(So I've finally gotten around to doing it and by God I think I've accidentally created a masterpiece in shitposting.)

(That video makes me wonder what would happen if you made your own version of LSD Dream Emulator. Because it feels like something from that game, but STALKER-themed.)

(I feel that surrealist / absurdist comedy to be one of my strong suits, as most of my projects tend to end up feeling like a bad trip anyway once I get to the end of them.)

(You could just make it shake violently or spin rapidly instead. If you started doing proper animations, then that would mean I'd actually have to start trying again 😨)

(I guess what I'm saying is that it might help to come up with something that gives you a little bit of urgency to encourage you to work on something.)

(Like, because I'm mostly doing sound design at the moment, I was able to turn a brain fart I had an hour ago into reality, because I didn't want the idea to slip away.)

(Sometimes you've just got to seize the moment instead of putting it on the backburner with everything else.)

(King once more with the flawless space lesbian shitposts)
(Wonder if he's tried Crow Country?)

(I've watched Manly Badass Hero's LP of it.)

(It's an interesting game, but it came across as being far, far too easy to be a survival horror game. I'd say it's more like the original RE4 and is just a spooky action adventure game with the amount of ammo and health that is just lying around everywhere with an infinite amount of pistol ammo just lying in the boot of your car which you can access at anytime outside of boss arenas.)

(at least check out the story, those are shenanigans that are worth seeing)

(I was thinking of designing some Shirleyist plasma weapons and an explanation as to why they look radically different to Shitbot plasma weapons.)

(My idea was that Shitbot plasma weapons work by venting partially ionized plasma from the magazine into the bulb and then rapidly heating it and magnetically charging it with the bulb's filament, making the plasma fully ionized and then expelling it through the lens on the front with magnets, focusing it into either a projectile or beam and the projectile's own magnetic field maintains it's cohesion temporarily, which is why plasma projectiles fizzle out of existence over relatively short distances. Also, Shitbot plasma is neon-mint green because it contains mercury and copper.)

(But Shirleyist plasma weapons work by having an internal chamber filled a mixture of inert gasses that's then charged and ionized by a laser and a Tesla coil and then forced through the barrel by magnets and is formed into longer, bolt-like projectiles that aren't as explosive as the Shitbot plasma projectiles, but move faster and farther and have better penetration. Kind of in between Shitbot plasma (all blast, poor penetration) and Shitbot Phlogiston projectiles (all penetration, poor blast) in terms of performance. Also Shirleyist plasma contains Argon and Aluminum, giving it a violet-purple color.)

(I want different factions' weapons to be different but similar. Soup King seems to be found of wacky & chaotic short-range & melee stuff, which I think is a good contrast to my strong preference for the relatively uncomplicated strategy of "shoot them from as far away as possible with as big of a gun as possible." I mean, it's even reflected in my two favorite melee weapons being the Halberd and longer, more Meteor-Hammer-like Flails that basically keep the user as far from their opponents as possible.)

>at least check out the story, those are shenanigans that are worth seeing

>I was thinking of designing some Shirleyist plasma weapons and an explanation as to why they look radically different to Shitbot plasma weapons.

(This does sound like a really cool idea to help distinguish between the two factions in a fire fight, as they tend to be quite similar in the range department for the most part.)

(In my mind, the effects Shitbot Plasma weapons are the same as Covenant Plasma weapons in the Halo books, where a negligent discharge into the floor will melt your lower legs off and about three inches of concrete as it splashes on the ground.)

(I'm picturing the Shirleyist Plasma weapons as being more refined and more like the plasma rifles from Fallout.)

>I mean, it's even reflected in my two favorite melee weapons being the Halberd and longer, more Meteor-Hammer-like Flails that basically keep the user as far from their opponents as possible.

(Foolish heretic!)

(Clearly the patricians choice of melee weapons is the electrified brass knuckles, because if the enemy isn't getting a broken jaw, second degree burns and involuntarily making Murloc sounds when you punch them in the face, can you really say that you've hit them?)

(Backed-up by the Swiss Army knife of melee brawls, the folding steel chair, your pointy sticks and weaponised farming instruments will be parried away and you will get rushed down.)

(Unless we're formation fighting.)

(If we're doing that, then pointy sticks all the way.)

(In order to prevent this thread from dying, you should all tell me your favourite cream cheese and why it's Breton Garlic and Herb.)

(I swear, this is the second time you've tried to derail the thread to talk about about cheese.)

(Imagine derailing your own thread.)

(Imagine not having a deep love for cream cheese)

(It's my culture.)

(A fridge isn't full unless you have a minimum of three different cheeses in it for multiple occasions.)

(I have three separate blocks of cheese in my fridge but they are of the same kind)

(Off-topic but, since Soup King is our resident Dead Space nerd, I've got a major question about the Markers.)

(If the Marker signal affects all organic tissue in it's AOE, how come the trillions of bacteria living all over the Human body and also every surface hospitable to life doesn't automatically or quickly succumb to the Marker and try to kill/assimilate all the multicellular organisms in the area that take longer to be affected? Even if it only affects dead cells, there's still plenty of dead bacteria literally everywhere, there would very quickly be a giant Necromorph bacteria blob squishing down through the hallways gobbling up everything that hasn't been turned yet.)

(I understand why from a story and gameplay perspective it doesn't, because everyone instantly getting killed by a sudden bacterial revolt would be a pretty lame game/story, but from a lore standpoint, why doesn't the Marker signal immediately make all the gut bacteria automatically perform a pro-gamer move and stop breaking down your food and bodily waste, start trying to kill the Human body and combine to form a Necromorph inside your colon?)

(Haven't played the games, so if it's explained somewhere in-game, cool, but all I can find on this online is other people asking why this doesn't happen.)

(It does, and that's what the biomass that lines the halls and blocks the doorways is made off)

(Most of the lore comes from the OG Dead Space in audio logs that didn't carry over into the Remake as far as I'm aware.)

(The engineers of the Ishimura and on Aegis VII had to keep cleaning it out of the vents and machinery to stop it causing mechanical breakdowns.)

(It's just a very slow process and it is actively being fought against by your bodies own immune system, as well as all the other bacteria in the area as well. The only time rapid transformation occurs is when an Infector deposits a large amount of Necromorph Bacteria directly into a corpse which overruns all of the other bacteria inside of it and takes over.)

>why doesn't the Marker signal immediately make all the gut bacteria automatically perform a pro-gamer move and stop breaking down your food and bodily waste, start trying to kill the Human body and combine to form a Necromorph inside your colon?

(This is exactly what happened to the Feeder Necromorphs in Dead Space 3. They were starving SCAF soldiers that tried to eat Necromorphs and it killed their entire digestive tract and then proceeded to transform them from the inside out, with them being driven insane from starving beyond the point of death, but being able to biologically die as they were half necromorph at this point.)

(It's possible they still have some cognitive function, as they seem to be the only Necromorph that eats instead of just tearing things to pieces and leaving the remains scattered around the floor.)

>Even if it only affects dead cells, there's still plenty of dead bacteria literally everywhere, there would very quickly be a giant Necromorph bacteria blob squishing down through the hallways gobbling up everything that hasn't been turned yet.

(There was something like that in one of the books that just acted as a slime that slid through corridors eating everything, including other necromorphs, it came in contact with.)

(In game, this is what those giant tentacles and blob bosses are made from.)

(My levels of disappointment or admiration will depend on which cheese you have.)

(I hope it's not 3 1kg blocks of mild cheddar.)

(Go figure, the books 75% of people aren't going to read answer the question.)

(Oh, I just remembered: One of the Elemental Powers I listed a while was Bacteria.)

(Meaning someone with Bacteria Z could actually just use their powers to launch a microbiota coup-d'etat against a person. Imagine watching someone get immediately digested inside-out by their own gut flora until there's nothing but a puddle of biofilm with assorted globs of bacterial colonies in it.)

(Huh, I guess this wasn't as off-topic as I initially thought.)

>Go figure, the books 75% of people aren't going to read answer the question.

(Ironically, they just straight up tell you this in the first game. First time with a audio log that is sitting in plain sight, glowing like the sun, in a place where you have to travel through, and secondly as your about to fight the first boss, Kendra calls you over the phone and tells you this as well.)

(I can't recall if the doctor tells you this in the Remake or not.)

>Imagine watching someone get immediately digested inside-out by their own gut flora until there's nothing but a puddle of biofilm with assorted globs of bacterial colonies in it.

(A more interesting application to me is that you could potentially use this to clone anything organic and getting the bacteria to form together in a rough proximity of it.)

(You could use it to make spies that would be very hard to detect unless you put them under a microscope and if they get caught, they can just break themselves down and return to their base colonies.)

(Or you could have them digest organic matter into Hydrogen, contain it inside an airtight biofilm at an internal pressure higher than atmospheric pressure and you've got an all-organic incendiary tripmine.)

(Archaea could do something similar with Methane.)

(Do Shitbots dream of riveted hull sheep?)

(I like to think there's only two toughts on an average shitbot's mind, the Holey One and cheese)

Nobody:

Shitbots:

(Status Update: I have finished one tiny measly Height Chart, which is only a small part of a much larger Height Chart. Only I-Lost-Count Left to go!)

(Now to figure something out for Halloween and also figure out where on Earth Soup King went so I can force him to watch terrible B-Movies synchronized to Pink Floyd's Dark Side Of The Moon album until he capitulates to my demands of American English being the definitive form of the English Language.)

(…Electric Torch my ass, it's not even on fire!)

(I'm unironically planning on creating my own analogue horror series, but that will probably be done in November when I have a lot of time free.)

(Since Dark Side of the Moon is an album by an English Prog-Rock band, the only way you can change my mind about the superior version of English would be if you could somehow synch up SLAXX to Dire Straits Walk of Life, Bruce Springsteen's Dancing in the Dark and other American funk classics.)

(Not only would it convince me that American English is the best form of English, but I reckon such a masterpiece could easily get people to vote for you as president, give you a leading share in all major corporations and allow you to be the deciding factor of who lives and who dies in the grand arena known as a waffle house car park.)

>I like to think there's only two thoughts on an average shitbot's mind, the Holey One and cheese

(This is mostly correct. the only over thing they hear is the blissful sound of white noise blaring at 120dbl occasionally broken up by random radio stations because having an aerial is a massive fashion faux-pas and makes you look incredibly old-fashioned.)

>Do Shitbots dream of riveted hull sheep?

(We're not primitive savages, you know.)

(We dream of cast hull sheeps with neon connecting joints.)

Was Akhenaten the OG Circle Cultist?

We just know Kaijin would argue in favor.

In other news, my angel’s class is “Übercharged Orb of Hyperdeath and First Guardian”
I learned a new summon: I can now summon the Handmaid from Homestuck.

IN CASE OF EMERGENCY: BREAK GLASS

She knows how to destroy any doomed timeline, in case this thread ever gets too off-the-rails again.

Think of it this way: we just got a witch for Halloween.

(I mean, to be technical it really depends on what we mean by "Magic" like, how does it work? Are we going by Harry Potter rules and there's just people that are inherently magical and are going to use magic anyways since it's basically an extension of their body? Or are we using a magic system where everybody can use magic without having to have magic in their bloodline or anything like that? I mean, I agree with the statement, but only in the same vein that the arguments against washing your clothes on a Tuesday also don't apply to buying penny stocks through the Internet.)

1.Draw three circles to form a color wheel.
2.Choose one or more shades to make your color.
3.Use alchemy to improve weapons and whatnot.
4.Repeat.